Would you like to be a more confident and capable communicator in your workplace? Do you wonder why some people are noticed and listened to at work, yet though you often have ideas to share, you find it difficult to get noticed or heard.
Profile of a successful communicatorSome people have a strong command of language skills and are simply able to express themselves more clearly and capably than others.
Yet though solid language skills are important this is not necessarily what sets some people above others when it comes to commanding a captive audience. They manage to project competence and professionalism; voice opinions confidently; speak up in meetings; move plans and projects forward; present ideas "up the ladder" in a way that gets attention and respect; even ask confidently for what they want...assistance, information or a promotion.
It is not only what they say but how they say it. They can stand up for themselves comfortably, express themselves authoritatively, directly and honestly. They manage to exhibit a confident manner which allows them to be listened to while at the same time they are acting in their own best interests.
And they manage to do this without denying the rights of others.They are displaying assertive behaviour and they are the type of person who will always be listened to.
How can you become more assertive and a better communicator?First of all you need to appreciate that communication is a process and there will be a few bumps from the outset and along the way.
As a communicator you...start with a blank page, get a thought or idea and put it into words. Your message is transmitted to the receiver who starts with past experiences, perceptions and assumptions.
The receiver's interpretation will also be clouded by the way you speak – your vocal style.
And you thought that what you had to say was quite straightforward!So, already there exists a hurdle which requires your listener to have to jump over past experiences, perceptions, assumptions and your own personal vocal style before they are able to interpret your message.
Your personal vocal styleIf your particular vocal style sits at either end of the spectrum - i.e. passive or aggressive, you won't achieve the outcome you want.
Communicating successfully for a desired outcome i.e. using assertive behaviour, sits somewhere in between these two.
Other barriers you need to overcomeWhen you communicate face-to-face other barriers can present themselves causing messages to be blocked, distorted or filtered. These include the words you use, the tone, volume or rate you speak and non-verbal signals that you give out. Body language can actually contradict verbal communication.
Think before you speakBefore you go into any meeting, whether it is a one-on-one with your boss or a group meeting of peers it is really worth following these steps:
- first think through carefully what outcome you want,
- then plan what you are going to say,
- make notes - especially if you have a vested interest in the outcome,
- run your presentation or points past a trusted mentor or associate.
If you have called the meeting go with a Purpose, an Agenda (preferably printed) and Limits (PAL).
10 strategies to improve your chances of communicating effectively and confidently- Avoid making premature comments and evaluations.
You should suspend judgement until you have all of the information and can assess it properly.
- Avoid making statements which are too general or excessively firm.
An over generalisation can cause people to 'close up' and become unnecessarily defensive.
- Avoid interrupting others.
Interrupting another person while they are speaking interrupts their train of thought. It also shows your lack of interest in what they’re saying. Listen for the key points and ask for clarification when necessary. When people don’t feel that their ideas are being listened to and understood, they often withdraw and talk less.
- Avoid talking too much.
If you talk too much, it encourages less talking on the part of other(s). You also run the risk that he/she/they will switch off and will forget the initial part of the conversation by the time you get to the end. Use listening and questioning skills. Keep your own comments short and to the point. Use open-ended questions to encourage input from others.
- Avoid repeatedly telling others what to do, or how to do it.
Too often we spend time telling people our view of their problems and what they ought to do about them. Instead you should encourage them to find solutions to their problems by means of questions and advice.
- Avoid talking down to people.
People want to, and expect to, be treated as members of teams - not as children or irresponsible adults.
- Avoid asking loaded questions.
This can make people feel as though they are being manipulated and they become more distrustful. You should ask more open questions, and quite clearly make your own point.
- Avoid sarcasm.
Comments, which have sarcastic overtones or make a personal attack, put people immediately on the defensive. As a result, they are not concentrating on what you are saying.
- Avoid placing emphasis on blame.
When people make mistakes they are usually aware of it. An extended discussion on the blame that they have to accept will only irritate them.
- When you present at a meeting
- Be passionate about something, but keep the emotional level appropriate.
- Stick to the point - if you ramble you will immediately lose credibility and power.
- Always be positive, never negative. Always be "for something".
- Drop the negative words "try" and "but" permanently from your speech patterns.
- Don't let your non-verbal behaviour conflict with the words you are using.
- Don't fiddle with jewellery or your hair, it is quite distracting.
- Maintain eye contact - is the most powerful aspect of body language and establishes credibility.
- Don't be indecisive, ramble, or include profanities or inappropriate topics for work.
- Stick to your PAL