Can you honestly say that your workplace is totally free of disagreements, confrontations and conflicts.
Or do any of the following situations sound just a little familiar?
- Do you sometimes feel like a referee at work because much of your time is involved in conflict management?
- Have you ever felt so angry with a staff member or your boss that you've blown your cool and really said what's on your mind?
- Has it been hard to hold back the tears, or your temper when you've been in a confrontational situation?
However if you employ the right strategies in your workplace it is definitely possible to maintain harmony, enthusiasm and productivity at work and to keep disagreements, confrontations and conflicts to a low.
Silence is not goldenFirst of all it is important to realise that if a conflict or inappropriate behaviour is occurring in your workplace and it is not being addressed –
then permission for it to occur has been given.Common conflict sources in the workplace- Lack of communication or miscommunication.
- Rules – where some follow and some don't, but there is no consequence.
- Wrong people in the wrong jobs.
- Getting caught up in outcomes not processes.
- Inability for a supervisor/ manager to let employee do the job himself/herself.
- Grapevines – these can often prove to be the source of conflict.
- A workplace where staff are not permitted to say "sorry I can't oblige, my plate is full".
Turn points of disagreement into a framework for resolution.
If the disagreement is problem based:- Identify and define the problem – remember to look at the facts not the behaviour.
- Generate alternative solutions. If you can't come up with a solution then brainstorm with others.
- Evaluate what will work best in your workplace.
- Make a decision - don't leave the problem or issue in the balance.
If the disagreement is conflict/person based:- Identify the conflict.
- Brainstorm for solutions.
- Determine the best way the conflict can be resolved with a win/win result.
- Confront the person.
- Negotiate.
- Follow up.
Two sides to every conflictRemember there are usually two sides to every work conflict – party A and party B are heading in different directions over an issue/s. For a successful working relationship to occur the two parties don't necessarily have to agree, but they must resolve to head in the same direction.
Handling angerAnger is a defence mechanism. It can mask feelings of guilt, hurt, loss, anxiety, and fear of being wrong or unworthy. If you are going to be involved in a confrontational issue ensure what is expressed is done in private, not in front of other workmates.
Exit with integrity If an interaction is not going well, take time out. Say something like "I feel very strongly about this and I need time to regroup my thoughts. Please excuse me."
Lets shake on itRemember the person who extends his hand first to shake has the upper hand. An inadequate handshake is power-robbing.
Watch your voice Avoid an autocratic, sarcastic or condescending tone that instantly alienates.
Friendship is not necessaryPeople don't necessarily have to like each other to get a job done – but they do have to respect one another.
Seven techniques for keeping your coolIt is certainly more attractive to come to a workplace full of harmony, enthusiasm and productivity - where disagreements, confrontations and conflicts are all unfamiliar scenarios. However, if work or a work associate does get the better of you and it all becomes just a little too much, then follow the techniques below.
If you feel that you are at breaking point then:
- Take a break.
- Count to ten.
- Consult a third party.
- Acknowledge and address your emotions.
- Accept responsibility and apologise if an argument does erupt and you are in the wrong. This will free you from guilt and you and your associate(s) will be able to move on.
- If you think or know there will be a confrontation prepare yourself ahead of time.
- Stay positive even if you are surrounded by discouragement and negativity.