5 Steps To Conflict And Confrontation Resolution

Do you shy away from situations where you are faced with potential conflict? Does the "Fight or Flight" syndrome kick-in and you choose to flee? Learn 5 steps to dealing with it!

Conflict is not all bad and circumstances do arise in daily business that you must face. The reason you avoid it, is because you are ill equipped to deal with the situation without a great deal of struggle. But confrontation arising out of conflict is really what you are trying to stay away from, not the conflict itself. To deal with conflict appropriately, all you need is a plan!

1. Look at your basic communication skills for dealing with conflict and the past history of your reaction when faced with confrontation. You will likely find that one of the biggest barriers to a successful conflict resolution plan is listening blocks. 
   
   Fully listening to what the other person is saying - not just their words, but their body language - is essential. You will then know when they are withholding information that will prove useful and you can ask pointed questions to get a grasp of the entire situation before proceeding.
   
   
2. Make sure your questions ultimately get to the root of how the individual is feeling. Are they angry, frustrated, scared, overwhelmed, in need of encouragement? Continue dialogue until you get to the bottom line.
   
   
3. Improve your word choices. Use words that show that you do not think the situation is about you, but rather, about them. Let them know immediately that you are interested in resolving the situation and keep the focus on their position.
   
   
4. Seek to understand - before seeking to be understood. Increase your empathy by truly feeling what it would be like to be in the other person's shoes at that moment. Don't give the matter some thought. Give it some feel.
   
   
5. Come up with a plan on how you can reach a resolution together and follow-up regularly to make sure the situation is, in fact, resolved. Offer communication parameters and make agreements to guard against a similar conflict in the future.
   
   The goal is that the other person comes out of the conflict with the feeling that you care about them, that you care about the issue and that you seek closure so you can both move on.
   
   

If the conflict is with an employee - Use these steps towards resolution and then take the opportunity to assist them with their own conflict resolution plan. Find areas where you can assist them in the implementation.

If the problem is with an unreasonable client - Look for ways to change internal processes that will alleviate the issue going forward, and remember that the client is always right - no matter what. 

If the conflict is with a co-worker - Be the bigger person and allow him or her to be right. Making the other person right does not make you wrong. But by making the other person wrong, you both lose. Invest in other people and it will pay you back tenfold.

Be proactive. Keep your ears open for potential conflict and find ways to nip it in the bud, before it becomes an actual conflict. You cannot always avoid it, but you can head it off before it becomes confrontation.

Listen, analyse, act and then LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN again!

Jane Schulte is Executive Vice President and COO of PRISM Title & Closing Services, Ltd. located in Greater Cincinnati. Visit her website to obtain information on her latest book, WORK SMART, Not Hard! © 2008, http://www.stop-struggling.com or visit here to directly purchase the book: www.stop-struggling.com/buytheebook.html
First published: 9 May 2008.
Last updated: 9 May 2008.