The story is a familiar one. They've been negotiating with the other party for a while and everything has been going smoothly. Then all of a sudden, this person has threatened to walk away, because they want a better deal. What should they do? Do I have a "Silver Bullet" cure to solve this problem?
The truth is, there is no simple answer to this question, not once you've reached this stage in the negotiation.
A better question for this person to ask is, "How did I end up in this situation in the first place? What series of events occurred which allowed this person to gain the upper hand in this negotiation?"
You see, this situation is NOT the negotiation.
It's the end result of the negotiation. It's the symptom, NOT the cause of this person's dilemma.
Don't get me wrong, it's not all over for this person if they possess some good negotiating skills. It's not too late to salvage the situation. However a better strategy would have been to avoid getting into this situation in the first place.
The problem is most people do not understand that negotiating is a process, not an event.
I hear people say things like, "It was all going well for 2 hours until the end, and then the other guy wanted to negotiate."
I'm sorry but I've got some bad news for you if you've ever felt this way.
The negotiation did NOT occur at the end of the 2 hours. It began at the beginning of the interaction with this person and if they are a good negotiator, it actually began long before they started talking with you!
Too many people fail to understand this, and end up with an event called "being pressured for a major concession". They think that this is the negotiation. It's NOT. They had been negotiating for 2 hours and just didn't realise it!
So what can you do to avoid ending up as "Shark Bait"?
This is what happens when you are forced into an unprofitable deal, or even lose the deal altogether. Here are a few quick thoughts.
Learn about negotiatingIt doesn't come naturally in our culture. It's a skill that you should develop if you would like life to be easier.
Not having these skills is costing you big time in lost opportunities, lost cash, lost profits and lots of stress. By the way, many of the people you deal with every day ARE developing these skills - ON PURPOSE. They are not just playing it by ear. That's for amateurs. They are making and saving BIG BUCKS using these skills - AGAINST YOU!
Understand what's happeningThere are 6 stages in every negotiation. They are:
- Preparation
- Rapport
- Gathering Information
- Exploring Options
- Trading Concessions
- Nailing Down The Deal
I don't have the space here for a full explanation of each of these phases. I could write a book on them. (Indeed I have written 3 of them!) Realise, however, that all negotiations involve all of these phases. They can take seconds, hours, days or months depending on the negotiation. Learn about them and understand what happens in each phase.
Know that you have more power than you think in every negotiationThe problem is most people think that the other person has all of the power. That's simply not true. There are more than 20 sources of power in most negotiations. The problem is, if you don’t know what they, you won't be able to use them and you will feel helpless. Find out about them. Quick!
Beware of the ploys, gambits and dirty tricksNegotiating is a game. It's a game however, where you can get hurt if you don't understand the moves, the ploys, the gambits and the dirty tricks that some people use. I teach people how to spot and counter more than 30 "popular" ones. If you don't understand them, learn about them.
People who understand negotiating don't become "Shark Bait". Get those negotiating skills and don't let others out negotiate you.