Some people are so relaxed that the last thing they should do is slow down more.
However most of us benefit from setting aside some quality time to slow down, especially if important decisions need to be made.
Do you need to meditate with legs crossed in an awkward posture to relax and put your brain in neutral?
The answer is no.
There is no right or wrong way to meditate or relax.
Think about how people choose different types of holidays. Taking a vacation can be a life saver. For some, it is an opportunity to relax, slow down, read books or magazines and sit in the sun. For others it is a great time to be excited, active and adventurous.
For example some of our early family holidays were a disaster. Jessica, our daughter, is a “high activity seeker” and regards my type of relaxing holiday as a punishment. We have had to choose holidays with plenty of activities, or nearby friends, or suffer the consequences.
Likewise, a high-achieving, self employed client described similar differences in what his family expects from holidays. A three day family escape to the beach showed that his wife’s expectations were very different. They finally arrived at their destination, having gone through the dramas of organising their kids and packing more than enough food.
At last she could get her highly strung husband to sit quietly and slow down. But no, he was already putting on hiking boots in preparation for a long walk.
Any pleasant activity where time flies, as if an hour or two has vanished, is a great way to relax and recharge.
Have a look at this list and see what you find interesting or enjoyable. Some of these activities may be things that you did in the past and would like to do again. Others may be new and worth exploring.
- Having a cup of tea or coffee with a friend.
- Enjoying a BBQ with neighbours or friends.
- Going to the movies.
- Reading.
- Craft activities.
- Painting with oils, watercolours or pastels.
- Dancing.
- Golf.
- Tennis.
- Walking.
- Spending time in nature – perhaps in the country, a park or by the beach.
Quality time for yourself helps give you an uncluttered perspective on who you are and what is really important.
What are you doing that is giving you quality time?
A 30 Second Relaxation Technique:
One of the reasons that so many relaxation techniques include advice about breathing is that you can only breathe in the present. You cannot take a breath for yesterday or tomorrow. The past can not be undone and the future has yet to happen.
So let’s keep it simple.
- Take a big full breath in to the count of three.
- Breathing in peace, calm and relaxation.
- Now breathe out slowly, again to the count of three.
- And just allow any concerns, negative thoughts or tensions to flow out through your toes and finger tips.
Choose some daily activities as prompts or triggers to remind you to do this technique three times a day, or more often if you wish.
Some useful prompts, and please feel free to add to this list, include incoming phone calls, going to the bathroom, meal breaks, meetings and beginning or finishing a job.
How To Put Meaning Into Your Life!
It is important to have a sense of purpose. Goals, dreams and aspirations are important for those of you who want to avoid living in a rut, of having a monotonous life where one day blurs into the next. You need to be aware of the reasons why you are living as distinct from simply existing or surviving.
Personal needs, relationship needs and community or spiritual needs are the three big areas.
Charles Schultz Philosophy
The following is the philosophy of Charles Schultz, creator of the “Peanuts” comic strip. You don’t have to actually answer the questions. Just read through and you will get the point.
Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
Name the last five winners of Miss America.
Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.
How did you do?
The point is that none of us remember yesterday’s headlines. The applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten.
Here is another quiz. See how you do on this one:
List a few teachers who aided your journey at school.
Name three friends who helped you through a difficult time.
Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.
Easier?
The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials,the most money or the most awards... they are the ones that care.
Personal needs:
Quality time for yourself to unwind and play have been discussed earlier in this article.
This sense of purpose needs to be more than your job or career, or you risk adding proof to the early death after retirement statistics. These statistics show that the death rate in men who retire at 65 is approximately 70 per cent in the first 3 years of retirement.
For many men work has been their main sense of purpose. Those surviving the first three years of retirement generally tell me that they have hobbies and family or community activities that cause them be even busier than when they had a full time job.
Relationship needs:
Being lonely makes you get sick faster.
A number of studies show that friends may help you live longer than family.
Community needs:
Awareness of connections to other people in your life, community, environment.
What do you need to experience, achieve or own to be able to say “I lived without regrets?“