We work way too hard, at least most of us do.
The Economic Rationalists have us held well and truly under the thumb that is connected to what is supposed to be the long arm of progress. You know the Economic Rationalists: they cut the workforce and expect those remaining to absorb all the additional responsibilities without additional reward. It’s the classic ‘one-two’: for every person you eliminate, you work someone else two times as hard.
It’s a powerful and seductive force to be made to feel irreplaceable, and both genders are swallowing the story - hook, line and overtime. What about a bit of balance? What about creating time for ourselves, living a healthy lifestyle and having a hell of a lot of fun along the way?
I spend my life trying to get people to lighten up, do less, and have time for themselves. I was really pleased recently when a fellow told me that I had him convinced. “I’m going for the lifestyle option”, he said. “I’m going to knock off no later than eight each night, I’m only working to lunchtime, Saturdays, and I’m going to have every second Sunday off”. He stood there beaming at me like a Cheshire cat while I waited for the punch line. Then I realised there wasn’t one: he was serious.
We get so caught up in squeezing every last second into the working day that each red light becomes a personal insult, being stressed was what life was like before things got tough and the only thing scarier than the bathroom scales is the bathroom mirror. Along the way we lose contact with our friends, neglect hobbies and pastimes we used to be passionate about and slowly dig our grave with a knife and fork. Quite a rosy picture isn’t it? Don’t look to the Economic Rationalists for help, the only time they find balance is when the dribble comes out of both sides of their mouth at once.
In the past week I’ve spent what some would consider an irresponsible amount of time on a tennis court and falling off a surf board, and I’ve chased my kids around so much that they say they can see me growing up before their eyes. I’m not looking for a medal; I’d just like a few of you to join me. You can do these things when you go back to working 40 hours a week instead of 60 hours or more. It’s tough to get started, but great fun once your have.
The answer is not sell up the farm, swap the Commodore for a Kombie and become a Byron Bay day trader. It’s also not to become a born again fitness zealot. Don’t force yourself to eat alfalfa and run around the block at dawn every morning when you know it’s not going to last.
You’ll find the answer in a combination of philosophy and pragmatism. The philosophy is to define your fundamental expectations of life. Sounds heavy, I know, but you don’t have to sit cross-legged, light a stick of incense and start making ‘ohmming’ sounds; you just have to think about what really matters to you. For me it’s that family comes first, I come second and my career comes third. That’s it. It’s narrow and selfish, but pretty easy to remember - and actually put into practice.
It has nothing to do with short, medium and long term goals; it’s more a personal mission statement without the verbiage. It’s what you weigh things up against when you have a decision to make. Here’s another example from Dilbert: “I can only please one person each day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking too good either”.
So who are you trying to please, anyway?
How about making it you for once?
Think of life as a doughnut. Forrest Gump would love this. The ring of dough represents all the things you have to do and the hole on the inside is the finite amount of time you have left for yourself. Philosopher Charles Handy invented the concept of the empty doughnut where a central core of dough represents your obligations, while there is an infinite outer ring for all the things you want to do. It’s a less boundaried way of thinking.
Here are 5 simple action steps to get YOUR life back in balance:
- Phone a friend at least weekly. Do not text or email and don’t count family or work colleagues. Pick up the phone.
- Have the next possible weekend totally work free. Leave you laptop and your brain at work and have a totally work and 'work thinking' free weekend.
- Have one weekday when you knock off at a set, early time. If at all humanly possible, make it before 5pm. You may shock a few people, but you will benefit, the work will still be there tomorrow and the sun will rise. If you don’t think your boss will go for it, just ask, you may be surprised. If you are the boss, just do it... and celebrate!
- Plan, book and pay for your next holiday. Please make it at least a week and preferably two in duration. If you start to feel guilty about it and you have more than 4 weeks in arrears, stop reading, drop everything and book in to see a Psychiatrist. You need help.
- Finally, try to laugh a little more this week. You and those around you will benefit.
Buy Mark McKeon's Audio Seminar CD from the Resource Centre:
How To Create Time