One of the most frustrating situations we can encounter during a negotiation, is when we come up against a person who stonewalls our every attempt to reach an agreement.
No matter what we do, no matter what we offer, no matter how many concessions we make, a stonewaller will respond with little more than a "no!"
There are a number of reasons why people use stonewalling tactics.
Here are a few of these reasons.
- They have no intention of reaching an agreement unless they can get an absolutely extraordinary bargain.
- They would like to do a deal, but hope that by stonewalling you, that they will force you to make a succession of ever improving offers. Watch out, it can be a very effective way of achieving this.
- They are stonewalling you to frustrate you, so you lose your cool and make mistakes. I've seen many a good negotiator fall for this.
- They try to send you a message, that they are a tough negotiator, so that you will lower your expectations and make concessions.
- They are stalling you because they know you are up against a deadline and are hoping that by stalling you, the pressure of this deadline will force you to improve your offer.
Here are a few suggestions on how to deal with a Stonewaller.
When you encounter a Stonewaller you need to decide how to best counter this tactic. Begin by...
- Recognizing that it may be simply a pre-planned, deliberate tactic.
- Don't lose your cool. It's probably what they are hoping for.
- Don't be persuaded that you are the one being unreasonable. This is what they would like you to believe.
- Consider telling them that you find their position and behaviour unacceptable and that they are not acting in "good faith".
- Consider setting a time deadline yourself for when you will quit trying and tell them about this deadline. This will sometimes get them to move off their position and begin sensible discussions.
- Actually be prepared psychologically to walk away and see what happens. If you do so however, do it in such a way that the other party will not lose face by contacting you to re-open negotiations.
Watch out for tactics like this.There are so many deliberate tactics that people use in negotiations. If you don't know about these tactics, you'll become "shark-bait" when you come up against a skilled negotiator.