As a manager, secretary, spouse or parent, you need to influence people to get through the day. You certainly need to be good at it if you want to build a successful business.
Now if influencing is so important ... why were you not told how to do it effectively. Why were you left to your own devices? I suppose we could ask the same question about making money, raising a family, staying married and being happy.
Influencing people can be the greatest challenge of your life or it can bring great pleasure. Recently, my third daughter came back from her first day at a casual retail job and commented that most of the people were 'wonderful'. Some were unpleasant. She treated the unpleasant ones the same as the wonderful ones and it didn't work. So the same strategy won't work for everyone. People are different so we must be different if we are to get what we want from them. Let me go through some simple ideas for improving
your effectiveness.
Get rapport first!
It is immensely important to connect with people before you start to deal with them. This may take seconds but if omitted will lead to disaster and strained relations. Imagine dispensing with a greeting and getting straight into the business."I haven't got time for pleasantries...let's cut to the chase". A moment or two of "I am delighted to see you again...and thanks for you help last week" will get you started in the right direction. Wouldn't you pay more for something where the staff are polite and helpful rather than cold and businesslike. Business is about building long term relationships so isn't the need to teach your staff to create rapport number one kill?
Here are some simple ways of creating rapport.
- Smile
- Shake hands
- Look people in the eye
- Be friendly
- Lift their mood by telling how them how well you are..."I'm great thanks".
- Get them to say 'yes'. Great weather today? I hear you got some new clubs?
- Pace them. Deliberately pace their tone, pace and volume to connect with them.
- Look your best...always. Your appearance creates or destroys rapport from a distance.
- Get people's names right. Say it exactly the way they do and do your best to remember them.
- Compliment people ... sincerely.
- Listen to what people are saying... and why they are saying it.
You will need to practise establishing rapport until it is second nature. Practise on staff, clients and family. They may think you are acting a bit strange but will appreciate the difference.
Now that you have established rapport you have a choice of styles of influence. Choose wisely! Here's your choice:
- Persuade Use logic and facts to get what you want. Stay calm and push the merits of your case based on hard facts or learned opinions. You are assuming that the other person is also rational and can be persuaded. Don't expect excitement. The most you will get is understanding. Excitement is emotional and logic is not. Be prepared to explain your reasons to people.
"I want it done this way because...".
- Assert This a harder style. I am not presenting any facts. I simply want it done this way. I need it done now. You must.... The best way to soften this style is to offer an incentive if people do what you want. A carrot. If you can stay back until the job is finished then you can come in late tomorrow. My hope is that the incentive is so attractive that you will do the job. The best I can expect is compliance. Just do the job and get the reward. You can practise this style in a retail setting.
- Listen You can influence people by simply listening to them ... very well. Some will be touched by the effort you put into your listening. If you also listen to their emotions you will make loyal employees and lifelong friends. Customers and clients usually mark listening as the most desired skill necessary in a service provider. Maybe start off by slowing down your brain when people are speaking. Focus on what they are saying rather than preparing a argument against. No more interrupting!
- Inspire Now we are talking about commitment as the result. We are dealing with emotions and excitement is an emotion. Do you want excited staff? Are you sure? Maybe you have got used to draft horses and would find the shift to spirited stallions a big jump. Anyway, the way to inspire people is to get yourself inspired first and then talk from your heart. Talk optimistically about the future and your vision for the club and the people who use it. Emotions take a little longer to come out so you will need to keep going until they catch your enthusiasm. You might even catch your own enthusiasm. If you aren't enjoying yourself, don't try this style. There is nothing more false than someone pretending to be enthusiastic. Wait until the real thing comes and share it with your staff. I remember a great speech from a CEO. He had prepared a speech and was about to read it to a large audience. At the last moment, he put his notes aside and said "I don't need this speech..I need to tell you how proud I am of what you have achieved and how confident I am ......." He got a standing ovation. It came from his heart.
Finally, it is important that you deliberately practise the behaviours you want to master. A little bit of concentrated quality practice is much better than lots of hit and miss practice, same as tennis or golf.
In most workplaces, your people make the difference and their ability to influence positively is what makes a great organisation. You can only go so far with the physical environment. Disney is a wonderful environment but the people are even better and the people have got good by design and inspired leadership. As a leader you need to take responbility for your actions, show respect for people, be humble, stay in close touch with stakeholders and staff. Operate on universal values instead of fear, anger or greed and be crystal clear of your purpose. Remember - perfect practice make perfect.
Buy Paddy Spruce's Audio Seminar CD from the Resource Centre:
The Art Of Influence